The state unfair

See what I did there with the post title? It's the State FAIR, but I said UNfair. You probably think I'm going to write a whole bunch of crap about how the state fair screwed me out of a lot of money and didn't deliver on the promise it once made to me as a small boy. Well, you're right. Here's the financial breakdown of my two days at the fair in 2010.

Breakdown of Sound: NICK DRAKE

Breakdown of Sound: NICK DRAKE: "(19 June 1948 – 25 November 1974) Nick Drake, born Nicholas Rodney Drake, was an English singer-songwriter and musician. Drake’s musi..."

Touch up those tattoos.

I got my first tattoo when I was pretty much 18. It's funny how many tattoo places on Padre Island don't check highschoolers' ID's during spring break. Actually funny and drunk.

 I don't remember that freckle being there before, so I probably just discovered cancer. Blogging FTW!

Technically we stayed in Brownsville and just drove to the island when we wanted to see what was going on. Brownsville is like the Mexico of Texas. Partly because it is the US border town near Matamoros, Tamaulipas, Mexico, and partly because there is no clear cultural boundary between south Texas and Mexico.

Fucking tangent. Anyway, more about the tattoo. If you're retarded or something, please refer back to the picture at the top of this post. It's like not even a real, whole paragraph above. It's been almost 12 years since I got it, and the color is fading pretty badly. All of my tattoos are fading in a bad way. I haven't gone in for a tattoo in at least 7 years, and I need some touch up. The question I ask myself is, would this be time to get a new one as well?

I don't have any idea of what I would even want. There's nothing worse than walking into the parlor and trying to figure it out from their clipart selections. Aside: why do we continue to call these places parlors, like there's going to be fucking high-brow conversation or ice cream or something? Maybe that'll be my next project. I mean on top of all of the other projects that I haven't finished.

I'm tired of writing. Here's a rabbit humping an old dog. Enjoy.

Windows 7 (and the Chamber of Sekrits)

 

Just installed a fancy shiny new copy of Windows 7 on the old Dell Dimension 4600. I ran the System Rating application and got the popup back “Whut iz Pentium 4? U got2b joking. LoLzOrZzzzz!!1!~!!1(one)” Windows can be really mean sometimes.

 

In all I think I like it. It’s like Vista, except not a piece of shit. It’s like XP, only doesn’t run as smoothly on my old box. I’m also having issues with my legacy Sound Blaster Live card drivers. Actually it’s not the drivers I’m having trouble with, it’s the lack of ANY driver that’s the problem. So I have no sound. Good thing I chose to do a dual boot. I still can get back to my comfortable, snuggly XP. I like how XP is the emoticon for someone squinting and sticking its tongue out. 7 doesn’t do that.

 

Anyone out there also on Windows 7 now? (I wouldn’t say I’m ON 7, but I’m trying it out. I think I’ll actually be on it in another few months when I can afford a new desktop. Maybe Christmas.) That was a long aside. Seriously, if you guys are also using 7, let me know some cool tips. Like, how to not fuck it up.

 

Unrelated. Anyone like dinosaur comics?? Today’s was awesome. http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1668

H&R Block-ed my account

I've got something to share with you. Beware the import trick on H&R Block.com if you normally use them for free filing. I'm settling down for a nice icy night of starting up my taxes for the 2009 work year. I direct my Chrome to H&R Block, start up the free filing application, log into my account from 3 years and start looking for where the hell they moved the button to import simple information like my name. It turns out that pulling my address out of their database, and putting it back into their database requires me to upgrade to the Deluxe version of their website. It will cost me $30 to not have to type my previous year's AGI into a box.

Now here's where I'm stuck pondering the value of this product they're trying to sell. Perhaps there are more tips, hints, tricks, etc by paying $30. That's fine. If you want that, then by all means buy it. I'm not judging you. But all I want is to be able to log in, and transfer existing information. I don't even expect it to be free! Let's call it somewhere around $5, and you're still ripping me off! I bought I'd pay it.  I bought an album recently for $5 and I'm still wishing I'd have used a gift card or something to do it.

Now, I'm looking around the site... kicking the tires and whatnot, and I see a link to import my information from last year. EXCELLENT! Maybe I can import just the basic information. Thanks H&R Block, you're awesome!  I was instantly transitioned to the Deluxe edition. "Don't worry", it said, "You don't have to pay until you file." Well, I don't want to pay ever now. My tension begins. How do I get it back to the free version? I can import my own info.

Looking around the help sections for products like this is like looking for help at Wal Mart. You're better off stealing a child and hoping a Code Adam will at least get enough attention so you can ask where the stink bait is. So I sign on to chat. I put in a few vital details such as name and phone number; you know the same things I was planning on retyping into my tax form anyway.  A window opens, and I wait.

I have to admit, that I wasn't surprised at the time it took to get a response. It was 8:00 Central Time, and I don't assume that H&R Block keeps as many chat "agents" available as Bank of America. Each of those The next available "Agent" will be with you in a moment statements were posted about 5 minutes apart.  After reaching an "agent" I was told twice that I would need to recreate my account to be able to use their service.

I think I'm going to take my own threats seriously. My alternative was to use a competitor. Any readers (2 people) have any suggestions on good, free, cheap (less than $30) tax filing software that supports efile?

Here's a nice piece of shit...

Oh, Billy. How you truly know how to describe my reaction (see post title) while stumbling onto an old, lost archive of wedding plans . Lost behind not one or two folders, but 6. One folder is even labeled the all helpful "misc". Save the Date! November, 24 2007. Somewhere in Florida two hopeless lovers foolishly thought it was in their best interest to unite their lives. It seems like such a silly concept now. How did we even get along? I am an introverted, selfish, narcissistic troll and can be highly driven, moody and uncongenial. I'll give the benefit of the doubt to people that say they can make it work. Maybe they're truly happy. I'd like to give my opinion on marriage. This is at least what I believe for now.

1. Marriage is an artifact of human life that was once very important and useful. I'm not going to dig too deeply into scientific research here. I'm sure there are multitudes of supporting literature in anthropology, evolutionary biology/psychology/sociology, ethnography and all sorts of other schools of philosophy that end in y. While the human animals with penises went out and got food, the ones without penises would fend of predators and raise the young. Codependence was a necessary adaptation to the environment, and the need to constantly care for our stupid fragile babies. Now that I have 24 hour a day access to police, food, internets and porn, why exactly do I need to establish a dependency on just one other person? Why does it have to be a woman? Why do I have to get the state, federal government, God and all sorts of other people I know involved? No thanks. I'll just play my zombie games and share the controller with whoever I want. That's right I just associated arbitrary sexual encounters with video games. Oh, I won't be able to have kids? Yeah, I'm not crying about that. Although kids are usually pretty good at Xbox.
   
2. Marriage requires love which I am unable to accept. To quote Pete (Paul Rudd) from Knocked Up "Do you ever wonder how somebody could even like you? The biggest problem in our marriage is that she wants me around. And I can't even accept that? I don't think I can accept pure love." I can harp on about my failed engagement, but it's only one microscopic instance of failure in a universe of my relationships with family, friends and women. I might be lovable, but I can't and won't accept love. It might be called self-deprecation or displaced humility. I don't know. I don't really care either. I know who I am, and who I am doesn't really care if you love me. Just give me a few nibbles and let me nap in peace.

In summary, I wanted to offer a quote that has nothing to do with the rest of the blog post, but I thought was an awesome quote. I guess I could link it by saying "real country" is analogous to marriage, and the qualifiers for being a real country are like the necessary requirements for me to be happy in a marriage. My country never has beer.

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer." Frank Zappa

The unbelievable lightness of beans

Men spend their lives in anticipation, in determining to be vastly happy at some period when they have time. But the present time has one advantage over every other -- it is our own. Past opportunities are gone, future have not come. -- Charles C. Colton

As I sit here, riding down the coattails of another week in January, I am suddenly aware that I am always waiting for something to come along to change my life. I'll eat right, and exercise tomorrow when I have more time. Oh, I really need to get a different job... I'd really like to work in the video game industry somehow. I should send a resume. Then when tomorrow comes I make the same, or another excuse to put it off. It's the classic paradigm of procrastination.

What is so daunting about these seemingly trivial little tasks that move me toward a desired goal? I think in some ways I'm afraid of failure. Not the typical oh, my life is ruined because my dreams are smashed kind of failure. The failure that comes with learning something new. The trial and error of becoming an accomplished pianist. The countless hours of paperwork required to be an Accountant. The punching the clock WORK of doing something I love. I don't like to equate my passions to the drivel of work. So I escape.


On a lighter note, I've been escaping a lot into some great video games. Still #1 on my play list is Left 4 Dead 2. There's something great about the direct connection I have with my teammates as we try to overcome the relentless onslaught of the undead. The new AI director is just as awful as the original, and there are still some pretty egregious flaws in the collision detection, however the constant pressure to make quick decisions and alter plans is thrilling! It's a plus if you can also live with pretty consistent lag.





I also picked up playing Shadow Complex again. It's loosely based on Orson Scott Card's Empire. I went through the main story line this summer, but never stayed to collect all the items. I started a new play through which doesn't let you keep the items you had, but it does show the complete map. Maybe another 2 or 3 hours to get the all items achievement.






Finally, the coup de grâce for this week's purchases is Magic: The Gathering – Duels of the Planeswalkers. How to describe it... Okay, you know that card game Magic? Well this is it. On your TV. You can totally escape the social ostracism because you've already selected to ostracize yourself to play this game at home on your XBOX! It was just $5 this week, and I thought it would be a lot of fun to play here and there. It is. Great, high res graphics and cards. Pretty basic... you can't really customize your deck, but still a lot of fun.